I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
