and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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