is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
