the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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