I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
