There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
