I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
