Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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