I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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