Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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