i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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