We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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