im six kinds of drunk right now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
