my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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