i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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