This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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