She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
