Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
