You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
