Don't you send me to vm
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
