I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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