so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
