we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
