Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
