I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
