RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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