Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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