You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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