The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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