woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
