I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Your penis caused this!
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