we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
