Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
