Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
