we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
