i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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