Buhtt sex?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
