So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
