You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
