I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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