just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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