me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
