Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
