Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
