My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
