I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
