please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
