Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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