Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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