If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
